Number Two

by Stinkbomb

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about

Well... here we go. Stinkbomb's second album is finally ready for consumption. It's chock full of toilet humor, absurd stories and fast, dirty punk rock. There are songs about sex; there are songs about drugs. And, of course, there's a song about poop. It will make you laugh... it will make you cry... and... just maybe... it'll make you shit your pants.

"Unapologetically crude toilet humour is on the menu here; sex, drugs and rock n roll are very much the order of the day. It's all done with a couldn't give a fuck attitude and a twinkle in the eye. These guys, Joey Remote (bass/vocals), Krikit (guitar/vocals) and Aspen (drums) have no desire to change the world. They're out to play loud and fast and to have some fun."
-Mick Fletcher
justsomepunksongs.blogspot.co.uk/2016/04/stinkbomb-stinkbomb-saves-galaxy.html

credits

released April 1, 2016

STINKBOMB is:

Joey Remote - bass, vocals
Krikit - guitar, vocals
Aspen - drums

Cover art by David Richert III
Artwork Layout by Todd Parker
Recorded at Brain Damage Studios
Mastered by Darby Meehan
Produced by Todd Parker and Stinkbomb
All songs written by Stinkbomb

STINKBOMB would like to thank:
Todd and the rest of the dudes at BRAINDEAD RECORDS, Chris for bein’ a real mench. SMASH THE STATE, LAZY ‘OLE BITCH, THE RACKATEES, HIPSHOT KILLER, FOUR ARM SHIVER, THE PROTESTORS, DOCUMENTARY, THE SHIDIOTS, F.T.S., OC45, HELLRAD, GASH, REAGAN YOUTH, MOBILE DEATHCAMP (Toledo Ohio!), Trav and the dudes from FART PILLOW, BOSS’ DAUGHTER, VANLADE, HELLEVATE, THORHAMMER, THE WINKS, Moe and the other fellas from SCENE OF IRONY...except Shaunessey (fuck that guy), GRMLNZ, CAPTAIN DEE & THE LONGJOHNS, CREATURE ILLICITE, WHITE SUSPECT VAN BAND, KOFF, THE SUPERMEN, THE FUBAR, THE FIREBIRD, THE DEMO, CBGB (not that one, the other one), OUR BASEMENT, OUR LANDLORD (sorry ‘bout the fence…) OUR PARENTS (kinda, y’all can be real dicks sometimes), Stag beer, dank herbs, that fuckin’ stupid “suh duh” video, and lastly OURSELVES (couldn’t have done it without you guys). If you feel like we forgot you, you can write yourselves in here: ____________________.


For a good time, contact:
Stinkbombrock@gmail.com
www.totallywastedonpunk.com

MCR-9

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Murder Cow Records Saint Louis, Missouri

Releasing music outside the mainstream. Mostly free downloads. Pay us if you want.

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Track Name: Ride to Death
Ride to Death

Lances sharpened, swords are drawn
As we form the ranks
Barbarian horde stands before us
We are the last line of defense
Burn our land, kill our people
They all must be slain
We ready our horses to ride to death

Ride, ride, ride, ride to death
Ride, ride, ride, ride to death

As we charge down the hillside
We yell our battle cry,
As we burst through their ranks
Men are killed and horses die
Decapitation, impalations
to the left and to the right
With my sword deep in his chest I take his breath

Take, take, take, take their breath
Take, take, take, take their breath

Ride to death.
Track Name: Stinkbomb Saves The Galaxy
Stinkbomb Saves the Galaxy

When there’s evil going down up in outer-space there’s one band you can call to put ‘em in their place!

We got lasers blastin’
We got swords slashin’
With our mighty power
Save the day at the zero hour
Up on Ralnax 6
An evil warlord sits
Genocide on the neighboring systems
But now we’re here and we’re gonna get him!

We heard the call
“Stinkbomb! Please save us all!”
And so we come ridin’ in.

On the main viewscreen
We see the enemy fleet
So we raise our shields
Open hailing frequencies

Turn back now or pay the price
Bet your life, you can bet it twice
With our weapons locked
Your reign ends here, you are blocked
Meet me on the surface
Man-to-man combat will decide this
We’ll see who’s the best
With an epic battle to the death!

We heard the call
“Stinkbomb! Please save us all!”
And so we come flyin’ in.

Our enemy stands twelve feet tall with arms as big as trees
But I shoot him with a laser-blast, Krikit cuts off his knees
Then Aspen puts a grenade in his mouth and his head explodes

The galaxy is saved
And we are headed home
We gotta play the show
It’s time to rock n’ roll tonight
So have fun, it’s alright
If it weren’t for us you’d be yelling, screaming, getting tortured, all for the amusement of an intergalactic dictator…
...But we killed him so relax.
Track Name: Croozin' For A Boozin'
Croozin’ For A Boozin’

We got a case of beer an nowhere to go
Gang Green blowin’ out my stereo
One, two, three beers down
Lookin’ for a party but none was found

Cruisin’ for a boozin, drunk drivin’ with nothin’ to do
Cruisin’ for a boozin, blastin’ rad tunes kickin’ back cold brews
Cruisin’ for a boozin, drunk drivin’ with nothin’ to do
Cruisin’ for a boozin with you

Look on back in my rear-view
All I see is red and blue
Pedal to the metal, too drunk to drive
Cops’ll never get me alive (FUCK YOU PIG!)

Cruisin’ for a boozin, drunk drivin’ with nothin’ to do
Cruisin’ for a boozin, blastin’ rad tunes kickin’ back cold brews
Cuisin’ for a boozin, dunk drivin’ with nothin’ to do
Cuisin’ for a boozin with you
Track Name: Evil Soup
Evil Soup

Behold this soup and tremble in fear
Beware this soup, there’s evil, dark, magic in there
Prehistoric wizards placed upon this soup a curse
And a haunting upon the one who eats it first

This soup has trapped inside it
Souls of ancient kings
If you eat this soup
You’ll unleash evil things
Yes it smell delicious
Chicken broth and all
But take one sip of this soup and watch mankind fall

This soup is terrifying
This soup is mortifying
Avoid this soup at all costs
Or your corpse will be left to rot

The meat that floats inside
Was taken from Hell’s goats
The Devil Himself chopped up the carrots
Noodles made from eggs of the great demon chicken
If you eat this soup you will die!
Track Name: The Ballad of Ronnie Pudding
The Ballad of Ronnie Pudding

Ronnie was a good dude
He’s got a problem
He can’t chew his food
He’s got no teeth

Ronnie’s got no teeth
Ronnie Pudding’s got no teeth
Ronnie’s got no teeth he’s got no teeth

He can’t afford dentures
He can’t chew his food
He can’t eat solids
He eats pudding

Ronnie’s got no teeth
Ronnie Pudding’s got no teeth
Ronnie’s got no teeth he’s got no teeth

Ronnie’s got no teeth
Track Name: Masturbate
Masturbate

Masturbate, masturbate
Everybody loves to masturbate
When I’m spankin’ it to porn
I like to cum all over the floor
Watch out, it’s time to masturbate
Spankin’ it, wankin’ it,
Everybody loves yankin’it
Got my lotion and paper towels
I’m gonna be here for a while
Look out, I gotta masturbate

Jerkin’ off, jerkin’ off
Everybody loves jerkin’ off
Beating my monster on the floor
Then my mom walks in the door
Get out cuz I’m jerkin’ off!
Track Name: Poonhound
Poonhound

I’m walkin’ in, it’s Friday night
I got a pocket full of cash and I feel alright
I think I’m gonna get around tonight

Oh, come out n’ play
I’m a poonhound on your trail, you’re the prey
I got your scent, you ain’t gettin’ away

I need a drink, so I got to the bar
I don’t have to look very long or far
She’s standin’ in the corner all dressed in black
I tracked the target, time to attack

Oh, come out n’ play
I’m a poonhound on your trail, you’re the prey
I got your scent, you aint’ gettin’ away
Oh. Oh yeah yeah yeah!

Grab her hand, start to dance
Then she’s takin’ off my pants
I whip it out, she grabs ahold
I fucked that cunt ‘till she went cold

Oh, yeah, momma, come out n’ play
The prey becomes the hunter little baby
You don’t have to make me stay
I got your scent and I ain’t goin’ away
Track Name: Eeaugh!!!
EEAUGH!!!

It’s 5a.m., I can’t sleep, and tonight I kill the neighbors with a shovel. They smell me - sniff sniff. They smell me with thier eyes. They are not normal. They are peculiar. They must be from another planet. Or Italy. Italy.

I was making a pizza, when from my window I see my neighbors by the open front door. They are smelling me with their eyes - sniff sniff. I stood, frozen like a deer in headlights, my gaze transfixed on their nose-eyes. I black out and when I am awakened hours later I am naked, save for a sticker on my chest that reads “Marsupial Paste” and I am in a plastic wading pool immersed in spoiled egg-nogg. My favorite.

Later on, there was a loud knocking at my door, however I felt quite lazy and ignored it for eight or nine hours. Finally, I decide to exit my laundry basket and answer the door. I find myself face to face with a giant elephant, a mug of hot chocolate in hand. That was fucked up. It opens it’s mouth and asks me if I have any catsup. “Why do you need Catsup?” I ask him. He responds only with “My nipples.” I shut the door and turn around and there they stand - sniff sniff. My neighbors, they stand there sniffing me with their eyes - sniff sniff. As a holder of The Congressional Medal of Macho Honor, I knew what I had to do. I ran, like a sissy. They continued to smell - sniff sniff. It wasn’t until after a week of running in circles that I realized this was dumb. Using all of my momentum, I lept directly into a wall. After what seemed like years of unconsciousness, I found myself floating in a sea of hot chocolate, a giant marshmallow my life-raft. So, as you see, tonight I kill my neighbors. I kill them with a shovel. Sniff sniff.
Track Name: Combing the Green Desert
Combing the Green Desert

Us three rad dudes
Were looking for something to do
We went to the laboratory
Lookin’ for chicks that are drunk n’ horny

Before we found any
We were zapped by a shrink ray
As things got smaller and smaller
They turned in a strange way
We stumbled across the giant place
Full of wonder and fear
A sexy smell eminated
Drawing us near

We stumbled across a mighty desert
Made of a sand of green
Mystic crystals give us
Ancient powers yet unseen

Unknown creatures rise from the dunes
And speak unto we
If you breathe these ancient herbs
Mega fucking stoned you’ll be
We breathe deep of the smoke
Laugh like we were crazy
Lights and colors swirled around
Our vision became hazy

A mighty giant came along
Lifted us from our hole
Along with us came the herbs
We were packed into a bowl

He lit a flame upon us
And our minds were blown
He breathed deep of the smoke
And became mega stoned
We screamed as we were burned alive
The giant got riptified
And that’s how Stinkbomb died!
Track Name: Bored
Bored

Sitting in my room
Bored outta my mind
Nothing to do to
Pass the time
I don’t have any pot (no pot)
I don’t have any beer (no beer)
My car is fucking broke and (fuck)
I can’t get outta here
Nowhere to go, nothin’ to do, no one to talk to
I’m losing my mind (losing my mind)
Nowhere to go, nothin’ to do, no one to talk to
I’m losing my mind (losing my mind)

Flip on TV,
nothin’s on
I got so bored that
I cleaned my bong
Calling everybody (What’s up!?)
No one answers (awwwwww)
Sometimes I feel like
Fucking cancer

Nowhere to go, nothin’ to do, no one to talk to
I’m losing my mind (losing my mind)
Nowhere to go, nothin’ to do, no one to talk to
I’m losing my mind (losing my mind)

Nowhere to go, nothin’ to do, no one to talk to
I’m losing my mind
Nowhere to go, nothin’ to do, no one to talk to
I’m losing my mind
Track Name: Poop
Poop

Sittin’ my ass on porcelain
That’s right my bare tushie
I don’t use a seat cover
Do I look like a fuckin’ pussy?

Defecation, defecation
Defecation, defecation
Defecation, defecation
Defecation, defecation

Now I feel the sweet release
Hear the satisfying plop
Takin’ a shit is the bee’s knees
and I hope I never stop

Defecation, defecation
Defecation, defecation
Defecation, defecation
Defecation, defecation

Rubbin’ poop all over the walls
I’ve got poop all over my balls
People think that I’m out of my mind
When I play with the shit from my behind

Defecation, defecation
Defecation, defecation
Defecation, defecation
Defecation, defecation
Track Name: Drink and Destroy
Drink and Destroy

Got some brews, got the dudes
Got some chicks that are gettin’ nude
Now it’s time to roll a doob

Light it up, pass it around
We’ve got so many beers to pound
It’s time to drink and destroy

What’s the time? Party time.
When’s it start? Every time.
Cuz every time is party time
And party time is all the time

Beer bong on the back porch
Domin’ out the basement
Everybody’s gettin’ wasted

Keg stand in the living room
Orgie in the kitchen
Everybody’s gettin’ naked, this party’s fuckin’ bitchin!

What’s the time? Party time
When’s it start? Every time
Cuz every time is party time
And party time is all the time
Track Name: The Biggest Lie
The Biggest Lie

You’re a hypocrite
You’re so full of shit
When I hear you speak
It makes me fucking sick

Religion is the biggest lie
And I’m not gonna waste my time
Motherfucker wake up
They’re feeding you lies

Eat your body, drink your blood
I won’t take no part
Religion is the biggest lie
I won’t fucking start

Religion is the biggest lie
I’m not gonna waste my fuckin’ time
Motherfucker wake up
They’re feeding you lies
Track Name: Killed Her With My Wiener
Killed Her With My Wiener

We were both layin’ in bed
Then she started to give me head
I slapped that ass ‘till it was red
And when I woke up she was dead

I killed her, killed her, killed her with my wiener
Killed her, killed her, killed her with my wiener
Killed her, killed her, killed her with my wiener
Killed her, killed her, killed her with my wiener
Killed her, killed her, killed her with my wiener
Killed her, killed her, killed her with my wiener
Whoa
Track Name: Speedball
Speedball

Friday night
About to begin
So I got out
Buy some heroin
Go back home
Put it up my vein
But the kick
Wasn’t the fuckin’ same

You made a mistake
Your life I’m gonna take
You, you’re just a bug
You sold me bad drugs
You’re gonna die

Friday night
Gonna be insane
So I go out
Buy some cocaine
Go right home
Put it up my nose
Let me tell ya
Didn’t do jack shit bro

You made a mistake
Your life I’m gonna take
You, you’re just a bug
You sold me bad drugs
You’re gonna die

I made a mistake
I reached my due date
I fucked up bad
I did some bad drugs man
I’m gonna die

I’m gonna die man,
I’m gonna die man,
I’m gonna die man,
Gonna die.

I’m fucking dead.