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Number Two

by Stinkbomb

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1.
Ride to Death Lances sharpened, swords are drawn As we form the ranks Barbarian horde stands before us We are the last line of defense Burn our land, kill our people They all must be slain We ready our horses to ride to death Ride, ride, ride, ride to death Ride, ride, ride, ride to death As we charge down the hillside We yell our battle cry, As we burst through their ranks Men are killed and horses die Decapitation, impalations to the left and to the right With my sword deep in his chest I take his breath Take, take, take, take their breath Take, take, take, take their breath Ride to death.
2.
Stinkbomb Saves the Galaxy When there’s evil going down up in outer-space there’s one band you can call to put ‘em in their place! We got lasers blastin’ We got swords slashin’ With our mighty power Save the day at the zero hour Up on Ralnax 6 An evil warlord sits Genocide on the neighboring systems But now we’re here and we’re gonna get him! We heard the call “Stinkbomb! Please save us all!” And so we come ridin’ in. On the main viewscreen We see the enemy fleet So we raise our shields Open hailing frequencies Turn back now or pay the price Bet your life, you can bet it twice With our weapons locked Your reign ends here, you are blocked Meet me on the surface Man-to-man combat will decide this We’ll see who’s the best With an epic battle to the death! We heard the call “Stinkbomb! Please save us all!” And so we come flyin’ in. Our enemy stands twelve feet tall with arms as big as trees But I shoot him with a laser-blast, Krikit cuts off his knees Then Aspen puts a grenade in his mouth and his head explodes The galaxy is saved And we are headed home We gotta play the show It’s time to rock n’ roll tonight So have fun, it’s alright If it weren’t for us you’d be yelling, screaming, getting tortured, all for the amusement of an intergalactic dictator… ...But we killed him so relax.
3.
Croozin’ For A Boozin’ We got a case of beer an nowhere to go Gang Green blowin’ out my stereo One, two, three beers down Lookin’ for a party but none was found Cruisin’ for a boozin, drunk drivin’ with nothin’ to do Cruisin’ for a boozin, blastin’ rad tunes kickin’ back cold brews Cruisin’ for a boozin, drunk drivin’ with nothin’ to do Cruisin’ for a boozin with you Look on back in my rear-view All I see is red and blue Pedal to the metal, too drunk to drive Cops’ll never get me alive (FUCK YOU PIG!) Cruisin’ for a boozin, drunk drivin’ with nothin’ to do Cruisin’ for a boozin, blastin’ rad tunes kickin’ back cold brews Cuisin’ for a boozin, dunk drivin’ with nothin’ to do Cuisin’ for a boozin with you
4.
Evil Soup 01:14
Evil Soup Behold this soup and tremble in fear Beware this soup, there’s evil, dark, magic in there Prehistoric wizards placed upon this soup a curse And a haunting upon the one who eats it first This soup has trapped inside it Souls of ancient kings If you eat this soup You’ll unleash evil things Yes it smell delicious Chicken broth and all But take one sip of this soup and watch mankind fall This soup is terrifying This soup is mortifying Avoid this soup at all costs Or your corpse will be left to rot The meat that floats inside Was taken from Hell’s goats The Devil Himself chopped up the carrots Noodles made from eggs of the great demon chicken If you eat this soup you will die!
5.
The Ballad of Ronnie Pudding Ronnie was a good dude He’s got a problem He can’t chew his food He’s got no teeth Ronnie’s got no teeth Ronnie Pudding’s got no teeth Ronnie’s got no teeth he’s got no teeth He can’t afford dentures He can’t chew his food He can’t eat solids He eats pudding Ronnie’s got no teeth Ronnie Pudding’s got no teeth Ronnie’s got no teeth he’s got no teeth Ronnie’s got no teeth
6.
Masturbate 01:14
Masturbate Masturbate, masturbate Everybody loves to masturbate When I’m spankin’ it to porn I like to cum all over the floor Watch out, it’s time to masturbate Spankin’ it, wankin’ it, Everybody loves yankin’it Got my lotion and paper towels I’m gonna be here for a while Look out, I gotta masturbate Jerkin’ off, jerkin’ off Everybody loves jerkin’ off Beating my monster on the floor Then my mom walks in the door Get out cuz I’m jerkin’ off!
7.
Poonhound 01:51
Poonhound I’m walkin’ in, it’s Friday night I got a pocket full of cash and I feel alright I think I’m gonna get around tonight Oh, come out n’ play I’m a poonhound on your trail, you’re the prey I got your scent, you ain’t gettin’ away I need a drink, so I got to the bar I don’t have to look very long or far She’s standin’ in the corner all dressed in black I tracked the target, time to attack Oh, come out n’ play I’m a poonhound on your trail, you’re the prey I got your scent, you aint’ gettin’ away Oh. Oh yeah yeah yeah! Grab her hand, start to dance Then she’s takin’ off my pants I whip it out, she grabs ahold I fucked that cunt ‘till she went cold Oh, yeah, momma, come out n’ play The prey becomes the hunter little baby You don’t have to make me stay I got your scent and I ain’t goin’ away
8.
Eeaugh!!! 02:43
EEAUGH!!! It’s 5a.m., I can’t sleep, and tonight I kill the neighbors with a shovel. They smell me - sniff sniff. They smell me with thier eyes. They are not normal. They are peculiar. They must be from another planet. Or Italy. Italy. I was making a pizza, when from my window I see my neighbors by the open front door. They are smelling me with their eyes - sniff sniff. I stood, frozen like a deer in headlights, my gaze transfixed on their nose-eyes. I black out and when I am awakened hours later I am naked, save for a sticker on my chest that reads “Marsupial Paste” and I am in a plastic wading pool immersed in spoiled egg-nogg. My favorite. Later on, there was a loud knocking at my door, however I felt quite lazy and ignored it for eight or nine hours. Finally, I decide to exit my laundry basket and answer the door. I find myself face to face with a giant elephant, a mug of hot chocolate in hand. That was fucked up. It opens it’s mouth and asks me if I have any catsup. “Why do you need Catsup?” I ask him. He responds only with “My nipples.” I shut the door and turn around and there they stand - sniff sniff. My neighbors, they stand there sniffing me with their eyes - sniff sniff. As a holder of The Congressional Medal of Macho Honor, I knew what I had to do. I ran, like a sissy. They continued to smell - sniff sniff. It wasn’t until after a week of running in circles that I realized this was dumb. Using all of my momentum, I lept directly into a wall. After what seemed like years of unconsciousness, I found myself floating in a sea of hot chocolate, a giant marshmallow my life-raft. So, as you see, tonight I kill my neighbors. I kill them with a shovel. Sniff sniff.
9.
Combing the Green Desert Us three rad dudes Were looking for something to do We went to the laboratory Lookin’ for chicks that are drunk n’ horny Before we found any We were zapped by a shrink ray As things got smaller and smaller They turned in a strange way We stumbled across the giant place Full of wonder and fear A sexy smell eminated Drawing us near We stumbled across a mighty desert Made of a sand of green Mystic crystals give us Ancient powers yet unseen Unknown creatures rise from the dunes And speak unto we If you breathe these ancient herbs Mega fucking stoned you’ll be We breathe deep of the smoke Laugh like we were crazy Lights and colors swirled around Our vision became hazy A mighty giant came along Lifted us from our hole Along with us came the herbs We were packed into a bowl He lit a flame upon us And our minds were blown He breathed deep of the smoke And became mega stoned We screamed as we were burned alive The giant got riptified And that’s how Stinkbomb died!
10.
Bored 02:04
Bored Sitting in my room Bored outta my mind Nothing to do to Pass the time I don’t have any pot (no pot) I don’t have any beer (no beer) My car is fucking broke and (fuck) I can’t get outta here Nowhere to go, nothin’ to do, no one to talk to I’m losing my mind (losing my mind) Nowhere to go, nothin’ to do, no one to talk to I’m losing my mind (losing my mind) Flip on TV, nothin’s on I got so bored that I cleaned my bong Calling everybody (What’s up!?) No one answers (awwwwww) Sometimes I feel like Fucking cancer Nowhere to go, nothin’ to do, no one to talk to I’m losing my mind (losing my mind) Nowhere to go, nothin’ to do, no one to talk to I’m losing my mind (losing my mind) Nowhere to go, nothin’ to do, no one to talk to I’m losing my mind Nowhere to go, nothin’ to do, no one to talk to I’m losing my mind
11.
Poop 00:59
Poop Sittin’ my ass on porcelain That’s right my bare tushie I don’t use a seat cover Do I look like a fuckin’ pussy? Defecation, defecation Defecation, defecation Defecation, defecation Defecation, defecation Now I feel the sweet release Hear the satisfying plop Takin’ a shit is the bee’s knees and I hope I never stop Defecation, defecation Defecation, defecation Defecation, defecation Defecation, defecation Rubbin’ poop all over the walls I’ve got poop all over my balls People think that I’m out of my mind When I play with the shit from my behind Defecation, defecation Defecation, defecation Defecation, defecation Defecation, defecation
12.
Drink and Destroy Got some brews, got the dudes Got some chicks that are gettin’ nude Now it’s time to roll a doob Light it up, pass it around We’ve got so many beers to pound It’s time to drink and destroy What’s the time? Party time. When’s it start? Every time. Cuz every time is party time And party time is all the time Beer bong on the back porch Domin’ out the basement Everybody’s gettin’ wasted Keg stand in the living room Orgie in the kitchen Everybody’s gettin’ naked, this party’s fuckin’ bitchin! What’s the time? Party time When’s it start? Every time Cuz every time is party time And party time is all the time
13.
The Biggest Lie You’re a hypocrite You’re so full of shit When I hear you speak It makes me fucking sick Religion is the biggest lie And I’m not gonna waste my time Motherfucker wake up They’re feeding you lies Eat your body, drink your blood I won’t take no part Religion is the biggest lie I won’t fucking start Religion is the biggest lie I’m not gonna waste my fuckin’ time Motherfucker wake up They’re feeding you lies
14.
Killed Her With My Wiener We were both layin’ in bed Then she started to give me head I slapped that ass ‘till it was red And when I woke up she was dead I killed her, killed her, killed her with my wiener Killed her, killed her, killed her with my wiener Killed her, killed her, killed her with my wiener Killed her, killed her, killed her with my wiener Killed her, killed her, killed her with my wiener Killed her, killed her, killed her with my wiener Whoa
15.
Speedball 02:06
Speedball Friday night About to begin So I got out Buy some heroin Go back home Put it up my vein But the kick Wasn’t the fuckin’ same You made a mistake Your life I’m gonna take You, you’re just a bug You sold me bad drugs You’re gonna die Friday night Gonna be insane So I go out Buy some cocaine Go right home Put it up my nose Let me tell ya Didn’t do jack shit bro You made a mistake Your life I’m gonna take You, you’re just a bug You sold me bad drugs You’re gonna die I made a mistake I reached my due date I fucked up bad I did some bad drugs man I’m gonna die I’m gonna die man, I’m gonna die man, I’m gonna die man, Gonna die. I’m fucking dead.

about

Well... here we go. Stinkbomb's second album is finally ready for consumption. It's chock full of toilet humor, absurd stories and fast, dirty punk rock. There are songs about sex; there are songs about drugs. And, of course, there's a song about poop. It will make you laugh... it will make you cry... and... just maybe... it'll make you shit your pants.

"Unapologetically crude toilet humour is on the menu here; sex, drugs and rock n roll are very much the order of the day. It's all done with a couldn't give a fuck attitude and a twinkle in the eye. These guys, Joey Remote (bass/vocals), Krikit (guitar/vocals) and Aspen (drums) have no desire to change the world. They're out to play loud and fast and to have some fun."
-Mick Fletcher
justsomepunksongs.blogspot.co.uk/2016/04/stinkbomb-stinkbomb-saves-galaxy.html

credits

released April 1, 2016

STINKBOMB is:

Joey Remote - bass, vocals
Krikit - guitar, vocals
Aspen - drums

Cover art by David Richert III
Artwork Layout by Todd Parker
Recorded at Brain Damage Studios
Mastered by Darby Meehan
Produced by Todd Parker and Stinkbomb
All songs written by Stinkbomb

STINKBOMB would like to thank:
Todd and the rest of the dudes at BRAINDEAD RECORDS, Chris for bein’ a real mench. SMASH THE STATE, LAZY ‘OLE BITCH, THE RACKATEES, HIPSHOT KILLER, FOUR ARM SHIVER, THE PROTESTORS, DOCUMENTARY, THE SHIDIOTS, F.T.S., OC45, HELLRAD, GASH, REAGAN YOUTH, MOBILE DEATHCAMP (Toledo Ohio!), Trav and the dudes from FART PILLOW, BOSS’ DAUGHTER, VANLADE, HELLEVATE, THORHAMMER, THE WINKS, Moe and the other fellas from SCENE OF IRONY...except Shaunessey (fuck that guy), GRMLNZ, CAPTAIN DEE & THE LONGJOHNS, CREATURE ILLICITE, WHITE SUSPECT VAN BAND, KOFF, THE SUPERMEN, THE FUBAR, THE FIREBIRD, THE DEMO, CBGB (not that one, the other one), OUR BASEMENT, OUR LANDLORD (sorry ‘bout the fence…) OUR PARENTS (kinda, y’all can be real dicks sometimes), Stag beer, dank herbs, that fuckin’ stupid “suh duh” video, and lastly OURSELVES (couldn’t have done it without you guys). If you feel like we forgot you, you can write yourselves in here: ____________________.


For a good time, contact:
Stinkbombrock@gmail.com
www.totallywastedonpunk.com

MCR-9

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Murder Cow Records Saint Louis, Missouri

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